To be read or not to be

Usually, I hate to write autobiographical blogs. It exposes you. It puts you in the spotlight when you don’t want to be. And it is boring! Whose life is interesting without any of the traditional spices added to make a story tick? Instead, I prefer to write stories and using the anonymity of characters, I keep pouring myself out. The only indication a reader gets that these characters might not be that fictitious, not that unrelated to me (okay, apart from the relation that they are the characters created by me) is that I put my blog-stories under category ‘Not so fictitious’. Then I wear a satisfied (smug?) look on my face and invite readers to decipher which part of the character belongs to me, which part really happened, which are figments of my imagination.

It is not that I have a huge blog following. My readership would certainly come under one of the tiniest one on the face of the earth. But there is an important reader who never gives up on me, or rather how hard I try to get rid of him, he never leaves me alone. He always reads my blogs (and I can feel his prying eyes on me as I write), never get easily satisfied unless he gets what he wants. Sometimes, I love him, but more often I hate him; and not less importantly, sometimes I simply grow neutral to him. So, although the readership base may be not so large, but it’s quite significant  for me(yes, there i said it. I am an egoist) to keep them satisfied.

The size of the readership once worried me and it had my attention. I used the usual dirty tricks of going to every damn blogs on WordPress.com and liking their posts or entire blogs without bothering to read their posts or know what their posts are all about. It did work for some time. I started getting good number of likes on my blog. No matter how less effort I had put to stitch together the words/ideas to come up with a pitiable story or poem, I got enough number of likes to fool me that I am doing a good job. However, I realized that there are some rules to follow if I were to remain in their favorites list for a long time. The first rule was to keep posting. That was easy. I kept churning out poems or short blog-entries on day-to-day basis. Now, the other rule — to engage with them. I was required to go to their blogs and like their posts. Not only this, I have to comment (that’s the difficult part unless you want to make fun of yourself, and blabber in the comment section without bothering to know what the post was all about.) It’s not that I am an introvert. I don’t hate engaging with strangers.(In fact, I am more of a professional when it comes to engaging with strangers in the real world). But I found that reading somebody else’s blog is not my cup of tea. It had nothing to do with the quality of blogs I read. Somewhere deep inside, I decided to utilize my blogging time to write my new ones, instead of spending time on somebody else’s blog. For me, blogging means to write blog. (Throughout the day, I get or have to read somebody else’s work. Here, I get to make others read.)

Gradually the likes tinkered down. But I got used to it once I shut my eyes to all popular blogs. It gave me freedom not to post anything new for months. I utilized this to write longish short-stories. I planned the plots, characters, moments, and then penned them together into my stories. And sometimes, I do nothing at all. I try to keep my eyes and ears open. Away from the scrutinizing gaze of the readers (except the intruder) , I just keep waiting for an idea that would possess me as I go along with the thing called Life.

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3 Comments

  1. Gaurav

     /  March 8, 2014

    pretty and exclusive!

    Reply
  2. One of your dialogues, which has become my recent favourites of all the dialogues delivered by others was “Every person has a story waiting to be shared, you just have to give a perturbation to the pot full of emotions.” (Ya… I modified it a bit… But you know me… I always do it…). So the point with reading someone’s blog is this… (I wrote this a month ago…)

    “Words are strange things. The person who writes the words is not the only one
    who gives them their identity. He just creates them — out of emotions, experiences,
    aspirations and dreams. But it is the reader who leads their identity to its completeness.
    Words of a writer are formless. The take form only in the reader’s mind. The same words
    which made you laugh a few days ago may make you cry today. Similar to memories.

    Delving into this world of words has taught me to look closely. When you read a
    person’s words, you actually read his mind. And when the person writing is just another
    nobody; and the only link between you and him are the words; you try to decode the
    author’s mind. And if observed closely, they provide you a complete insight of the
    author’s identity.”

    So… Mr ‘not introvert’, from my experience in the blogging world (which is quite small), I can say that we all have a list of ‘people’ (not blogs) that we yearn to read. You see… its a very interesting game… to know a person inside-out through words. In blogs the writers are commoners – just like you and me. And believe me… no matter howsoever professionally you blog, the words always come out inundated in the feelings you are in… the feelings you yearn to share but can’t due to your professionalism.

    Every person has a story that he shares.and another one which he ‘yearns’ to share. Like the decision of talking to a person or not depends on whether you want to know the story that he shares; the decision of whether a thing is to be read or not depends on whether you want to know the story that he ‘yearns’ to share…

    Reply

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